In this episode of 100% Candice I talk about my complicated feelings around having children.
I'm sorry if I alienate my male listeners with a bit of talk about the female reproductive system and a gross generalization about how men decide to have children.
And, celebration, I made it through a full recording without crying once! That's a win.
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From the heart, good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAs you may have read Patti and I are adopting. We have been going through the long process (I say long, but based on our "range of acceptance" (ie age), it has been a much faster process then some people).
I too have always loved kids, and hoped to have my own someday. A wee Me running around. When Patti and I started talking about kids the topic of age did get brought into it, and there definitely was the thought that she was "too-old". As we thought more about it we decided that baby's weren't for us anyway, and with the oodles of kids out there in the foster system looking for homes, our love and care and desires would be better suited to aim older (to CAS's cheer). I've seen you with your cousin, and I know you would be bee too. You may not have the mate beside you, but that doesn't mean you can't do the same if you still desired. Being single doesn't kick you out of pool. There is of course the financial side of adoption / supporting 2 mouths, but that will come for you as well.
I'm not saying you shouldn't still aim natural when the time is right, but adoption is still a good option.
I hope that helps in some way. :D
Keep fighting the fight my friend.
I started to make a comment several times on that FBook post. In the end, I felt that as a male I had no perspective to offer regarding expiry. But as an over 40 father of a 4 year old with a wife that may, or may not be, older than me, I can say 40 does not mean you have met your best before date. However, there are some fears that creep in as you start down the road of pregnancy over 40. Most of that I blame on the medical community and the way they still treat pregnant women over 40. They seemed to go out of their way to add stress and worry to our lives when we should be not stressed and enjoying the time of growin' a kid.
ReplyDeleteI will also offer this. Both my wife and I had given up on marriage and kids. We were both approaching 40. Then we met. 18 months later we were married and another 2 years down the road happy, but tired, parents.
Never lose hope.