Three Words 2017

I have had two years in a row which really tested my strength and more importantly, my resiliency. I'm so done with that. I know I am strong and I know I am resilient, and I don't need to prove it to myself or to the world. What I do need to do is stop surviving and start thriving.

A reminder of my words in 2015 - Strength, Rebuild, Whole

And my words in 2016 (which I never posted) - Create, Rebuild, Challenge

There's a lot of growing and building and working in those words, and there was in those 2 years also.

I'm tired. So this year I'm going to rely on the things that help make me so resilient. I'm going to spend more time on the good things.

Words

Joy

Despite a challenging year in 2016 surrounded by lots of grief, I was generally a happy person. But this year I don't want to be happy despite shitty circumstances, so I'm going to focus on putting more joy into my life. I'm pretty grateful and make note of 3 things I am grateful for every day. This will continue. But I also plan to choose more places, times, experiences, even things that bring me Joy. Actively.

Intention

Which brings me to word two, Intention. This one is sort of a cheat because last year I started talking about intention a lot by the middle of the year and kept telling people it was a word I was using to guide my life. This year, I really mean it. I'm tired of letting things happen to me. I want to choose the things I do and the ways I spend my time and the people I am with. I don't want to look back on my year and think "I've been lucky to have such a great life." I want to look back and think "I created such a great life for myself."

Deepen

Deepen. This is a really different idea for me. I want to deepen the relationships I have with people. Some of it is about Joy and Intention. I love my friends and family and they bring me happiness so I want to choose to be with them more to get more happiness. But from another point of view it will be a challenge and a pushback against the year I've had. In 2016 I lost a number of people to death, many close, some even closer. At no point have I thought about breaking ties with people to suffer fewer losses, though I've joked with people about it. I know that is not the healthy response to grief, but I also know it can be a natural one. I'm not leaving it to chance. I'm going to actively work against building walls to keep myself safe. I want to deepen every relationship I have. I want to be more open and vulnerable. I want to trust more in the people around me and put more of my safety, security, and happiness in their hands.

In some ways I think my words for this year don't seem like a huge leap for me, but in other ways I think they are going to be really hard work.

On Topless Men

Yesterday I accidentally caused a ruckus on Facebook. I shared an opinion on when and how men should go topless - which is only in private. It was a sort of random thought as I walked past a young man sitting on a coffee shop patio with his top off and on the table in front of him.

Many, many people had something to share in regards to my opinion. I love that I have such a diverse group of friends that responses varied from complete agreement to complete disagreement and that reasons included women's rights and equality, body shaming and feeling comfortable and embracing sexuality or non-sexuality.

I didn't respond much to the comments on my post. My reasons for not wanting to see men walk around public, common space topless are 1) my own and 2) longer than a Facebook reply.

But let me share with you how I've come to my opinion.

I enjoy seeing my man (imaginary as he is right now) topless, at home. That feels like something I've won. It's special. It's just for me.

This is not a modesty or prudish thing. In fact this is a prideful thing.

I am beautiful and I have a great body. I love how I look. I know what works for me. And I am proud of it. I am so proud of it, that I keep it as one of the things I can share with someone I care about. I am a gift and only certain people get to have me.

I wish more people felt this way.

I have no problem with wearing clothes which highlights our best features. If a guy thinks he has a great body and wants to highlight it, there are some great shirts which can show it off.

Skin is alluring. Showing a little is treat for others. It's a mystery. It can be a promise of more. It's a preview of what can be shared if circumstances are right. And I want to win it like a prize.

The beauty of sharing our bodies gets lost to me if it doesn't feel like something given to a person (or persons) of your choice.

I don't want to see people walking around showing what I think should be a something special for someone else to everyone on the street. Which I know does sound prudish... so maybe that's me.

And for the more superficial reasons I don't want to see guys parading around topless - most of the guys who feel comfortable doing that are not the body type that I enjoy. They are hairless, super skinny or heavily muscled. Three definite turn offs for me.

Since I've spent years saying way too much about myself online, let me let you in on one more thing about me. There is a certain way a guy's t-shirt hangs on his back, between his shoulder blades that drives me crazy every time. A man in a t-shirt which fits just right will turn me on infinitely more than any topless man ever will.

Saying that, this is only my opinion, as is everything I share on Facebook, Twitter, my podcast, basically everywhere. People can and will and most definitely should do whatever they feel comfortable doing.

But if you want my attention - keep your shirt on.

Respect For Artists in Canada - 100% Candice Episode 005

As though you didn't get enough of me this week! I recorded an episode on Monday but am only releasing it today.

Turns out I ran out of room in my Libsyn account! I didn't see that coming. Took a few days, but I fixed it so I can release episodes again. So, I guess I will start to encode my files a bit smaller - not relevant to you the standard podcast listener, you probably won't even notice.

So, I don't much remember this episode, it was a bunch of days ago. It's a bit of a ramble about the music industry and the food industry and me.

I also had an interruption about halfway through so needed to re-record the last half hours later.

What's important though is that you go listen to some Alun Piggins, you go see some live music, and you send me some of your favourite indie artists.




Cue up this video to play over the final seconds of this episode

 

Washington D.C. Day Two

I'm not going to lie, the highlight of today was the #RootsCanuck lunch at Saint's Paradise Cafeteria.

Today was the first day of RootsCamp and as Canadians do in a foreign country, we all found each other and went out for lunch. And Twitter helped us mobilize.

In some ways I'm still surprised by how many political organizers don't use Twitter. In fact, if I hadn't been a regular Twitter user I don't think the other two people I'm here with would have known about the RootsCanuck lunch.

There are about 15 different sessions going on every hour throughout the day over today and tomorrow. Each hour seems to have a minimum of three sessions covering digital media, online and social ads, sending email, using Facebook.

I poked my head into a few of them. Really competent presenters and audiences with tonnes of questions. So I tried to get to sessions I don't know as much about.

I went to one session which brought together canvassers out in the field and the data people back in the office. I went to another session on organizing and making change through food. And my favourite session so far this weekend was one on podcasting.

The thing with an unconference is that the attendees are encouraged to run a panel. Well one fellow was interested in learning more about the art of podcasting and understanding if it can be used to help being people together around a movement. But he was not a podcaster.

The room had a good handful of people in it, most of whom were in the same place as the organizer of the session. They were looking for more information.

At first glance I wasn't going to go to the session since podcasting, and political podcasting, is a topic I know well between my own show Limited Release and the show Gang of Four I often guest hosted on. But the session I had been in was not delivering me what I was looking for, so I used the unconference rule of two feet and walked to a new session.

And boy was I glad to pop into the podcasting session. For one thing I almost doubled the number of women in the room simply by joining. For another not a person in the room new how to upload an mp3 file and submit it to iTunes.

Once we got past the technical bits we had some great conversations about editing or not, interviews or conversation shows, storytelling, finding an audience. I finally felt like I was with my people.

Well that's not entirely true, it wasn't finally. I mentioned the high point of my day was having lunch with a large group of Canadians, and some adopted Canadians. 

In our walk to the restaurant the gentleman I was walking with was telling me about a great soul food restaurant he had heard about in the basement of a church.  We joked that we should ditch  the large group and head over there. Good thing we didn't since the first restaurant choice for the group was too small and we ended up heading to the church basement after all.

Man, we could not have ended up at a better place. It's the kind of eatery the locals go to and is not a big tourist draw.

I may have found my people in the podcasting session, but I found my home over a plate of fried whitefish, mac and cheese and candied yams.

Washington D.C. Day One

Here I am, blogging from a hotel room in Washington D.C. Well, Imagine me, because I have no selfies of me at the airport, on the subway, checking in at the hotel, or at the delicious restaurant where I just had dinner. I'm really terrible at taking selfies, or even thinking about them.

I did however think to take a photo of my wood-fired pizza at the restaurant, but it was one of those local hipster joints with craft beer and bearded gentlemen patrons, which means it was way too dark in there to take a photo of my food.

I'm in Washington D.C. this weekend to attend RootsCamp 14. It's an unconference put on by the New Organizing Institute. RootsCamp brings together people behind the scenes in politics, the people who work on getting people elected, the organizers. I'm here with some of the other Green Party team who worked on the most recent Ontario provincial election.

In Service, the Series - Gang of Four, Beyond the Ballot Box

It seems strange to right about this extra curricular activity of mine since as of next week it will be over, but it is something I have been spending time on since September, so it deserves a few words.

Our local university radio station is quite fun hodgepodge of shows, some funny, some entertaining, some an experiment. It's the reason campus radio stations exist. They are real public radio.

Three years ago a show was born, or more specifically I think evolved from something else. Beyond the Ballot Box brought local, provincial, national and international politics to the listeners every week through a round table discussion.  Not only were the people sitting around the table (which by the way is most definitely not round) intelligent and funny, they also represented a variety of political views, which is always refreshing.

Two years ago, I was asked by my friend Adam to meet with the group and run them all through a presentation on how to use Twitter and Facebook. I was happy to meet with them all and get them set up and understanding how to get the word out about their show, and how to continue the political discussion after the weekly show. Some took to it like water, others took to it last month :-)

Because of my work with the Green Party and leader Mike Schreiner I kept in touch with the hosts, Jan and Oliver, since they also conducted interviews. I really enjoyed listening to their interviews since they really took a good cop/bad cop attitude with their guests.

Early this year I was asked to guest host on one of their rotating weekly programs, The Guelph Hour. I have lots to say about Guelph, so I fit right in, and it was lots of fun. After that spot I was honored to be asked to join them more regularly. You see one of their regular members, Phil Alt, had decided to run for city council and it's pretty difficult to stay impartial when commenting on something you are a part of.

Which is also why I had to decline the offer. At the time the provincial election was right around the corner and since I was acting at the communications director for Mike and the Green Party, acting as the media probably wouldn't work.

Luckily for me, having political opinions and leanings works on this show. The point of the round-table is that there are a bunch of different views represented, so once the election was finished, and I was no longer in the position of begging for media (which is what it feels like sometimes when writing and sending press releases) there was less of a conflict with me being part of the show.

So for the last four months I was able to join in every few weeks and dissect the news of the week in the world of politics.

I found being on the show really challenging. In a good way. It's easy to become complacent to what's going on at the top. It's also easy to become so embroiled in it, and enraged by it that you burn out. The show always helped to lighten things up. The show always took time to see some of the absurdities in politics. Being able to laugh at problems is really good.

I'm really sorry to know that it won't be continuing after next week's show. The hosts, Jan and Oliver, each have many responsibilities that make it difficult to keep doing a weekly show, for no money, let me remind you. I know I take about 3 hours to prep for the show some weeks I'm on,  and I just have to show up and talk. I respect the amount of work everyone else puts in to consistently create smart, insightful commentary on the news.

In a community the size of Guelph, the end of a balanced and fair news source is a sorry thing to see. I hope something fills the void in the new year.

**spoiler alert, something will be replacing it, but I don't know the details yet.

Accountability, what is it good for?

How do you hold yourself accountable?

I had a coffee this morning with Tony Roy, a business coach I met through BNI. I wanted to know more about what he does, and if it might be something beneficial for my business. I guess that sounds a little silly, I'm pretty sure a coach would always be beneficial for someone's business, so I knew he could only help me and my business. I guess the question I really wanted answered was, could he help me with the bit I know I have trouble with: holding myself accountable.

I've talked about this a bit when blogging about my business website. I've joked that I suffer from the cobbler's children syndrome, I help clients get their online presence in order and I barely have one.

This doesn't make me unique, but a weakness is a weakness no matter if I'm part of the majority or the minority. So, how do I fix this? I almost never hold myself accountable for tasks I need to do to build my business.

The Power of Face-to-Face

Today officially launched the holiday gathering hoopla that is December. I went to the first of, I'm sure, many get-togethers with friends and family over lunch.

Today's group are some of my oldest friends outside of school friends. In 2002 I saw an ad in the TV Guide (I know, right? How archaic! A print magazine about television?) for an event in Toronto called Toronto Trek. Besides advertising itself as a science fiction convention, they were also advertising that the actress Amber Benson would be there. At the time Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my favourite television show and the idea of meeting one of the actors in the show was pretty fantastic. Plus all the other geeky things I love would be represented at the event.

Something you might not know about me (but probably do already)

It's holiday time this month, so here's something fun from a person I respect (and had a crush on as a young teen).

Wil Wheaton writes:

From the Vault: things every person should have:
This is one of those things that I forgot I wrote, and when I was reminded I wrote it, didn’t believe that I actually came up with something that I think is kind of cool.
Things every person should have:

• A nemesis.

• An evil twin.

• A secret headquarters.

• An escape hatch.

• A partner in crime.

• A secret identity.

What else?

I'm not doing too well on this list. I do have a partner in crime, I may have a secret identity, I certainly have a secret headquarters, but I'm missing the nemesis, my evil twin and an escape hatch.

Won't someone help me?

Just in case you weren't positive of my geekiness, here I am with two Daleks!

Connect with Your City

This morning I saw this photo posted on Facebook.

A little backstory, a local business person started a scavenger hunt in town a few weeks ago, the Royal City Coffee Hunt. Find the photo, take it to The Joint Cafe and redeem for a free coffee.

This morning's location was one I know quite well, even though I haven't spent time there since I was in secondary school. In fact, as I drove over there I was surprised to find the street I thought lead right to the spot actually stopped before it.

From the ages of 8 until 11 I lived on Peter Ave, and attended Waverley Drive School. Even after moving away from the area in grade five I continued at the same school for 3 more years.

This was my neighbourhood, I knew it well. Especially since I walked to school everyday, sometimes with different friends so we changed routes regularly.

So, I bundled up and headed out to get the photo since I wanted a coffee, and a treat. As I drove over the memories started, as they often do any time I drive through that neighbourhood. I always look down Peter Ave, to spy my old house. As I drove further down Delhi I thought about how far of a walk it must have seemed to me at 9 years old every day. I feel like kids don't walk so far on their own any more.  My parents stopped walking me to school sometime about grade one, or 6 years old. From then on I was on my own.

I recognized that spot in the photo, so completely because it is directly across from the intersection where I used to be a safety patrol, Waverley and Clive.

As I looked up and down the street I was overcome with a memory of walking down to Riverside Drive to watch the Olympic Torch go by in 1988. My and my friends walked the entire way from the school to the end of the street singing "Stand By Me" over and over again. Because of my enormous crushes on River Phoenix and Wil Wheaton that movie was on constantly.

I have lived in Guelph since I was 3 years old. And I mean lived! Not only did we move at least 7 or 8 times before I was 13 years old (thanks to my nomadic father), I went to at least 4 different schools and made new and different friends each time. My brother and I were active kids, always exploring neighbourhoods, some quite far from our home. As long as we could hear my mom's whistle we knew we were within range of home, and she has a loud whistle!

There are very few parts of this city that don't have memories attached for me, and there are very few "Guelph" experiences I haven't had. Guelph is very much more than the city I live in. It has shaped me and made me the person I am. To get really philosophical, Guelph is me and I am Guelph :-)

I've been lucky to live in the same city for so long, but anybody can start making memories and experiencing our city. Go out for walks. Today walk left out your door instead of right. Drive to the library branch at the opposite end of the city from your home, join a book club there. Shop in a different grocery store, or visit some schools public events, like fairs and performances.

Go to local events like Festival Italiano, the Multicultural Festival and Hillside Festival. Ask long time Guelphites to share stories of what the city was like before you arrived. I can tell you where streets stopped 15 or 20 years ago, and what it was like lining up for movies at the Odeon on Wyndham St.

Thanks to Rob Campbell for adding a quick and easy way to get to know Guelph every Monday. Take part. Watch for next week's photo and go looking for it.