A reminder of my words in 2015 - Strength, Rebuild, Whole
And my words in 2016 (which I never posted) - Create, Rebuild, Challenge
There's a lot of growing and building and working in those words, and there was in those 2 years also.
I'm tired. So this year I'm going to rely on the things that help make me so resilient. I'm going to spend more time on the good things.
Despite a challenging year in 2016 surrounded by lots of grief, I was generally a happy person. But this year I don't want to be happy despite shitty circumstances, so I'm going to focus on putting more joy into my life. I'm pretty grateful and make note of 3 things I am grateful for every day. This will continue. But I also plan to choose more places, times, experiences, even things that bring me Joy. Actively.
Which brings me to word two, Intention. This one is sort of a cheat because last year I started talking about intention a lot by the middle of the year and kept telling people it was a word I was using to guide my life. This year, I really mean it. I'm tired of letting things happen to me. I want to choose the things I do and the ways I spend my time and the people I am with. I don't want to look back on my year and think "I've been lucky to have such a great life." I want to look back and think "I created such a great life for myself."
Deepen. This is a really different idea for me. I want to deepen the relationships I have with people. Some of it is about Joy and Intention. I love my friends and family and they bring me happiness so I want to choose to be with them more to get more happiness. But from another point of view it will be a challenge and a pushback against the year I've had. In 2016 I lost a number of people to death, many close, some even closer. At no point have I thought about breaking ties with people to suffer fewer losses, though I've joked with people about it. I know that is not the healthy response to grief, but I also know it can be a natural one. I'm not leaving it to chance. I'm going to actively work against building walls to keep myself safe. I want to deepen every relationship I have. I want to be more open and vulnerable. I want to trust more in the people around me and put more of my safety, security, and happiness in their hands.
In some ways I think my words for this year don't seem like a huge leap for me, but in other ways I think they are going to be really hard work.