Monday, December 2, 2019

CNDOP 2019


It's Canadian National Day of Podcasting! At least it was yesterday.

To celebrate, I've made a clip show.

These are the 6 Canadian podcasts I support through Patreon.

Guelph Politicast hosted by Adam A Donaldson

Faculty of Horror, hosted by Andrea Subissati and Alexandra West

The Nighttime Podcast, hosted by Jordan Bonaparte

Metis in Space, hosted by Molly Swain and Chelsea Vowel

I Hate It But I Love It, hosted by Kat Angus and Jocelyn Geddie

Nightmare On Film Street, hosted by Kimberley Elizabeth and Jonathan Dehaan

Thanks for listening!

Follow me on Twitter at Cinn48 or at CircleOfMedia.

Listen to my other shows The Village Podcast by The Bookshelf or every third week, give or take, on End Credits Radio.


There's a new episode of 100% Candice!

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

The Stephen King Project - Pet Sematary

Sigh, this book is really not good.

When reading The Shining I noticed that King's writing style had changed, matured. I remember thinking to myself, while reading up about Jack Torrance's drinking and accidents before he arrived at The Overlook, that King had finally learned how to tell a character's back story without that character needing to be telling a story to another character, which is how almost all of the back story happened in Salem's Lot.

Salem's Lot was a good book. I enjoyed it. But I definitely noticed that the only way we learned about the characters was by them telling stories to each other. It's a fine way of finding out about their past, but it can become awkward to put characters in a position where story telling happens.

From The Shining forward, King's writing has gained more narrative ways of telling back story and they've been much easier and more enjoyable to read.

Until Pet Sematary.



Though to be fair, a lot of things about Pet Sematary are the worst parts of King's writing.

There is no foreshadowing, there is only giant freaking gongs. There is a part of the book early on, maybe the first night they are in the new house, where Louis is carrying Gage to bed and he gets a feeling of dread. So heavy handed.

There is also an absolutely unnecessary amount of description of things which don't matter. The first trip the entire family take together to the Pet Sematary is almost 9 pages long. Nine pages of describing tall grass, a view of the valley, a stand of trees that meet overhead, absolutely unnecessary. It's not like when King was describing the Marsten house or the hedge animals or the car, these places and things were also characters. The walk to the Pet Sematary is not a character. In fact the cemetery itself is also not a character because it's the Micmac burial grounds behind the cemetery which is the monster.

These were problems I was already having with this book, only a third of the way in after having started it almost 3 weeks ago.

But tonight, I've reached this new realization, that King has forgotten how to tell narrative. So much of this book is already Louis listening to Jud's old stories, but now, after having spent pages following the walk from the cemetery to the Micmac burial grounds, I am reading a passage of Jud telling Louis how he found out about the cemetery by recounting exactly the same trip I just read!

This book was published in the same year as Christine, and it shows. I'm not sure if it was an old draft of something he hadn't taken another pass at yet which he submitted because the publisher wanted something fast, or if it was some first draft he wrote because they wanted something and he never cared to make it better.

Either way, it's clear this book was not completed, not worked on to become the best it could, or even good. And it's kind of a shame, because the idea of whether to move forward from trauma or hold on to a past until it destroys you is a great idea. I hope somewhere in the later published books he comes back to the same idea.

___

I have been reading all of Stephen King's novels in chronological order of publishing date since June of 2019. Any documentation on my thoughts have been orally shared on The Village Podcast by the Bookshelf. You can listen back for updates there. 


Tuesday, July 17, 2018

The Annual MMPR Podcast Recording!

 
It's that time of the year again - the time of the year I get shamed into recording an episode, live in front of an audience.

If you don't follow me on social media - you get no update on what I've been up to for the last year or so. Just figure it out - @cinn48

I do, however, gush about some of my newest podcast obsessions. Tune in and follow them yourself:
Faculty of Horror
Cocaine and Rhinestones
Your Favorite Band Sucks
Hit Parade
Shockwaves

Outro music - my new favourite music obsession The Suffrajettes covering Britney Spears Toxic. Spend a couple bucks and buy a copy here.

And that's 2018! Maybe I'll record again at MMPR 2019.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Three Words 2017

I have had two years in a row which really tested my strength and more importantly, my resiliency. I'm so done with that. I know I am strong and I know I am resilient, and I don't need to prove it to myself or to the world. What I do need to do is stop surviving and start thriving.

A reminder of my words in 2015 - Strength, Rebuild, Whole

And my words in 2016 (which I never posted) - Create, Rebuild, Challenge

There's a lot of growing and building and working in those words, and there was in those 2 years also.

I'm tired. So this year I'm going to rely on the things that help make me so resilient. I'm going to spend more time on the good things.

Words

Joy

Despite a challenging year in 2016 surrounded by lots of grief, I was generally a happy person. But this year I don't want to be happy despite shitty circumstances, so I'm going to focus on putting more joy into my life. I'm pretty grateful and make note of 3 things I am grateful for every day. This will continue. But I also plan to choose more places, times, experiences, even things that bring me Joy. Actively.

Intention

Which brings me to word two, Intention. This one is sort of a cheat because last year I started talking about intention a lot by the middle of the year and kept telling people it was a word I was using to guide my life. This year, I really mean it. I'm tired of letting things happen to me. I want to choose the things I do and the ways I spend my time and the people I am with. I don't want to look back on my year and think "I've been lucky to have such a great life." I want to look back and think "I created such a great life for myself."

Deepen

Deepen. This is a really different idea for me. I want to deepen the relationships I have with people. Some of it is about Joy and Intention. I love my friends and family and they bring me happiness so I want to choose to be with them more to get more happiness. But from another point of view it will be a challenge and a pushback against the year I've had. In 2016 I lost a number of people to death, many close, some even closer. At no point have I thought about breaking ties with people to suffer fewer losses, though I've joked with people about it. I know that is not the healthy response to grief, but I also know it can be a natural one. I'm not leaving it to chance. I'm going to actively work against building walls to keep myself safe. I want to deepen every relationship I have. I want to be more open and vulnerable. I want to trust more in the people around me and put more of my safety, security, and happiness in their hands.

In some ways I think my words for this year don't seem like a huge leap for me, but in other ways I think they are going to be really hard work.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

On Topless Men

Yesterday I accidentally caused a ruckus on Facebook. I shared an opinion on when and how men should go topless - which is only in private. It was a sort of random thought as I walked past a young man sitting on a coffee shop patio with his top off and on the table in front of him.

Many, many people had something to share in regards to my opinion. I love that I have such a diverse group of friends that responses varied from complete agreement to complete disagreement and that reasons included women's rights and equality, body shaming and feeling comfortable and embracing sexuality or non-sexuality.

I didn't respond much to the comments on my post. My reasons for not wanting to see men walk around public, common space topless are 1) my own and 2) longer than a Facebook reply.

But let me share with you how I've come to my opinion.

I enjoy seeing my man (imaginary as he is right now) topless, at home. That feels like something I've won. It's special. It's just for me.

This is not a modesty or prudish thing. In fact this is a prideful thing.

I am beautiful and I have a great body. I love how I look. I know what works for me. And I am proud of it. I am so proud of it, that I keep it as one of the things I can share with someone I care about. I am a gift and only certain people get to have me.

I wish more people felt this way.

I have no problem with wearing clothes which highlights our best features. If a guy thinks he has a great body and wants to highlight it, there are some great shirts which can show it off.

Skin is alluring. Showing a little is treat for others. It's a mystery. It can be a promise of more. It's a preview of what can be shared if circumstances are right. And I want to win it like a prize.

The beauty of sharing our bodies gets lost to me if it doesn't feel like something given to a person (or persons) of your choice.

I don't want to see people walking around showing what I think should be a something special for someone else to everyone on the street. Which I know does sound prudish... so maybe that's me.

And for the more superficial reasons I don't want to see guys parading around topless - most of the guys who feel comfortable doing that are not the body type that I enjoy. They are hairless, super skinny or heavily muscled. Three definite turn offs for me.

Since I've spent years saying way too much about myself online, let me let you in on one more thing about me. There is a certain way a guy's t-shirt hangs on his back, between his shoulder blades that drives me crazy every time. A man in a t-shirt which fits just right will turn me on infinitely more than any topless man ever will.

Saying that, this is only my opinion, as is everything I share on Facebook, Twitter, my podcast, basically everywhere. People can and will and most definitely should do whatever they feel comfortable doing.

But if you want my attention - keep your shirt on.




Monday, June 20, 2016

Thank you

Of course my Spotify Discover playlist today is full of songs which remind me of him. Of course it is because he was the single largest influence on my musical tastes, after my Dad.

I was just a 21 year old kid when I met him. So young, so still unsure of who I was and what I could be.

Despite being 6 years older than me he always treated me with respect, like an equal. He asked my opinions and valued them. He always gave me copies of his music and would sit and ask me to tell him what I thought of every song. I think it was only in his music he could ever be himself.

He cared too much about people's opinions. He wanted to be what people wanted him to be. He tried so hard to be what other people wanted that he got lost.

We all have a part of ourselves, a little box, which carries the words of support and love from our friends and family. We can open it up when times are bad and remember that we are loved. But he didn't have a box, he couldn't carry the love people gave him, so he needed it all the time and broke himself trying to get it.

Eventually I also wanted him to be something he could not be, and I saw him hurting himself trying to be that. I didn't want to be, but I was hurting him. I could not be one of the many reasons he had to hurt himself. So I left.

Don't get me wrong, he was also hurting me, and he was hurting a lot of other people he cared about then. It was not a good time, and I didn't get the best version of him. But he helped me find the best version of myself.


Sunday, June 19, 2016

Hard lessons

Here's a lesson I learned 5 years ago, and again last spring, and once more today in the most definitive way - you can not love a person so much they get well. No amount of love will ever help that person if they don't love themselves and if they don't think they are worth loving.

I gave love until I couldn't anymore, until I had nothing left to give and it didn't make a difference.

But I didn't ever actually stop loving and now there is nowhere for this to go anymore.